I am repeating these tweets after 7 years of his death.
I appreciate my husband who put up with my speech in every dinners about my most respected musician for 3 weeks now. #fb— Fujisaki Kickno (@kickno) February 12, 2012
ここ数週間でがくっと体重が落ちたんだけど、筋肉も落ちたみたいで、7mileがちゃんと走れなかった。ともちゃん引っ張る引っ張る；— Fujisaki Kickno (@kickno) February 5, 2012
今日も夜2時くらいに目が覚めて、結局寝に戻れなかった；最近ずっとこのパターン。寝不足で気持ち悪いー。今夜9日ぶりのレッスン、出ないともっとブランク長くなって後で大変なことになるんだよな・・・。— Fujisaki Kickno (@kickno) February 6, 2012
Since I am an auditory centered person, attending the show (great show!) without him gave me a strong sense of deficiency, cut-off and a lot of flashbacks of my memory. These make me sick.
Since the inheriting guitarist is such a skillfull guy (and, good person), accurately copied phrasing by him created; uncanny vally of sound. Hopefully this is just for me. Hopefully everyone else enjoyed the show.
Don't mistake. They are DOING the RIGHT thing. I support them firmly, no matter my personally preferred sound is abstracted out and hidden from the front layer, their direction keeps his music alive, and I appreciate it a lot.
The contradiction between what I understand how the band going and rejection from my physical (auditory) sense has been giving me sickness. Physically and mentally.
7 years ago, after his funeral, I started to get into a lot of piano practice, got on stage and played piano for the nearest church.
This time, unfortunately, my arms] are injured thus I cannot play the piano, cannot redirect my feeling of loss.
/me dealing with depression for a while now.